i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
