I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
