she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
