I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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