Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
