i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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