Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
