He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm like, not good at living.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
