My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
