Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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