We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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