I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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