So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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