All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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