I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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