Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
