I skipped work to stalk him.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
