I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
