my mouth tastes like poor choices
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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