mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
