Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How does one acquire holy water?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
