it wasn't lemon gatorade
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
