I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
