The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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