I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My life is pants optional.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
