do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
