I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
