my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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