Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
then he tried to convert me to islam
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
