Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I understand Curling. That high.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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