I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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