She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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