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I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
handjob tips. give me some.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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