sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
