You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
