I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
