I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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