From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
