BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
