why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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