I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
