All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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