seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
