i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
