so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
