Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
