I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
