does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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