Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
