Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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