i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
